My name is Fatima and I live in the USA. I’m originally from Russia, and my husband is from Jordan. My baby is only 4 months old, I know it’s too early to think about languages now but I don’t want to be late! So I read a lot about multilingual parenting, I’m so glad that I found you and your newsletter! It’s good to know that there are many people like myself.
I speak Russian, English, Turkish, one more language that is spoken in Russia (which is my first language along with Russian) and Arabic. My Arabic isn’t perfect. My husband speaks English and Arabic. We speak English at home and my husband speaks Arabic with me as well. I do understand Arabic and I try to speak it but I’m still learning it myself.
Now, we want our daughter to speak at least three languages (English, Arabic, Russian). As many of your readers I am scared … I don’t know how is this going to work. So I need help from professionals – wht should I do! Where should I start? I’m sure you deal with many situations like mine every day! But we all need you!!
Looking forward to hear from you soon!
Thank you! Have a nice day!
Thank you for your question and for your feedback, I am pleased to hear that you have found the site useful! You are definitely not too early with your question. I know it will still be many months before your daughter says her first words, but now is the right time to plan ahead how you want her to learn all the three languages she will encounter.
There has been quite a few questions about raising a trilingual child in the past, so I would recommend that you also take a look at our answers to Marco, Elena and Iren, Eva, Valerio and Erico and Idania. Another recommendation is to type in ‘trilingual’ in the search box of our site and you will get a list of articles on the topic.
As you live in the USA, English is the language you need to worry least about. Your daughter will learn that once she starts nursery or school and the language will most likely become her strongest one by time. My recommendation is that you and your husband both speak your native languages to your daughter, i.e. you speak Russian and your husband Arabic, following a variation of the one parent, one language (OPOL) approach.
I would also start gathering Russian and Arabic resources such as books, rhymes, songs, toys etc. so you have them handy. Start reading books to her now, so you get into the routine!
Since your husband does not know Russian, but you know Arabic, I would recommend that you make Arabic your common language at home. If you currently also speak English with each other, it would be good to phase it out, so that only Russian and Arabic are spoken in the home. By not making English one of the languages you speak at home, you will have a better chance of your daughter becoming used to always speaking Russian with you and Arabic with her father.
One important reason why it is great that you are thinking about this now is that you need to discuss and agree this plan with your husband. Since he does not speak Russian, there will be times when he does not understand what you are saying to your daughter – and he needs to be okay with such situations. You on the other hand need to be mindful and translate whenever necessary so he does not feel left out. If you are the one who will spend more time with your daughter, then it is highly likely that her first words will be in Russian – another situation your husband needs to be mentally prepared for.
All this said, many families have gone through this very same process and can vouch that it will work out, as long as both of you consistently stick to your languages when you speak directly with your daughter. Although her first words may be Russian, she will also pick up Arabic, as she will be speaking it with her father and hear both of you speak it together.
Since you will be hearing more Arabic than before, your skills will improve as well – and, if your husband is willing to learn a bit of Russian, he can also learn a bit alongside his daughter! A true win-win-win story for the whole family.
Best of luck to you all!